Spring is here!

It was in the low 70s and beautifully sunny as I drove to the church this morning, and on my way I passed the first blooming Japanese magnolia tree of the season, bare branches flaunting large pink blooms. It's New Orleans springtime, and it feels like it's been a long time coming.

It was a difficult holiday season for me. Not only was the weather unusually cold and nasty, but in December, Russell, my friend of 35 years, was diagnosed with Stage IV cancer (that is, cancer that has spread to other major organs) and hospitalized with what some of his family members and friends thought was to be treatment but I knew (from bitter hard-won experience) was to be palliative care until his death. The holiday season was taken up with his slide into dying, and visiting with him for final good-byes (and one last Saints game on his hospital TV). He died on January 4, and his service -- a giant to-do with hundreds of people paying emotional and sometime humorous tribute to him, which he might have enjoyed if we had only done it while he was still here -- was January 7.

From early December when I first found out to his death in early January, I couldn't write. Then after he died, I still couldn't write. At first it seemed too frivolous to keep up with a blog while Russell fought this last losing battle. Then I was too sad to write. And then finally I couldn't write because I felt paralyzed, frozen.

And now, today, with the blue skies and warm sun and blooming flowers, I feel like something inside me has thawed or melted. I feel like I can write again. New Orleans is still here, still beautiful, still needing care, and the courage and commitment of the people who love her (just like Russell). So the Blog is back.